Jewel-Woman, I like it. I hope you write more. The title, "Child", raises some emotional under-currents that inhance the narrative. "She let out a bitter laugh" catches the tragedy of Hurin's story very succinctly. Thank you for taking the risk and posting it.
With respect, Bear
__________________
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit Called or uncalled, God is present
Jewel-Woman, Not awful ... the opposite ... I am calling them wonderful. You capsulated the story in your own words. You put them in the form of free verse, without a rhyme scheme, yet still left the "flavor" of this tragic tale. Not many folks would even try and do that ... but you did it ... and in my humble opinion did it well. So if you felt like poetically using capsulation on another tale it would be very welcome. I was complimenting your work ...not criticizing ...
I just re-read this whole exchange ... and I am truly confused on how you read this as insulting your work ... If we still have a conflict I would be happy discuss it and if necessary make amends ... but not in the thread ...but by PM.
Again Jewel-Woman ... I liked it ... I really liked it!!!
__________________
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit Called or uncalled, God is present
"more of your poetic interpretations?" ... was an answer to your question of "more chapters?" And was an indicative index to the specific pattern with which you started the thread of"Child." Indeed it was meant as a compliment. "Poetic interpretations" is a literary label of an art form unique and rare.(free verse and unstructured rhyme scheme) Your response surprises me; as the lable of "poetic interpretation" is one of the highest compliments one can receive surrounding this art form.
I apologize for any misunderstanding ... But I am sorry ... I really don't see where it comes from. If you prefer I will stop giving feedback ... My mistake ... as all this was meant to acknowledge your talent and encourage your artist courage in choosing the poetic form ... I am not sure if I should be angry or embarrassed.
Either way ... please keep posting ...
Confused, Bear an Elf-Friend
__________________
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit Called or uncalled, God is present
Sorry for jumping in, but Bear, you should not be either angry or confused. As I see it (as a non-native speaker of English, seeing how some things get 'lost in translation'), the misunderstanding on Jewel-Woman's part might have arisen from a feeling that you were mockingly calling her work 'poetic', when in fact you were not really considering it so. Of course your misunderstanding came from the fact that you were indeed, truthfully calling the work 'poetic interpretation' with no mockery intended, and so could not understand her answer.
Other than that, I find the poem itself to be quite interesting. I'd like to read more myself.
I agree. It really is a short story ... I use using the term is its more generic form ... meaning that it was "poetic" form ... in a song, in a poem, a saga, etc.
I read what you wrote aloud to a few friends ... as the highest compliment they thought it "poetic" and "epic" also. (and they asked me for more)
I think I should apologize ... you wrote ... you should label as you want.
Never mind this old hippie who sees "poetry" everywhere.
Again,
Nice to see you,
Bear an Elf-Friend
__________________
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit Called or uncalled, God is present