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Topic: Child

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Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Apr 22, 2011
Child

She was running swifter than they were. She got herself rid of all clothes, in order to run faster.

She arrived on the mound, and collapsed there.

It was there that she met him.

She now knew that he was her brother. Perhaps she always had, but chose to ignore the hints of Valar.

Now she was living a new life, under her fake name.

As Niniel, she would escape Morgoth's curse.

As Niniel, she had a chance for line of Hurin to prevail against Morgoth.

Starting with her son.

She decided to name him Brandir, after her true love, whom she was foolish to reject.

Six years passed since that day.

"Come here, Brandir. Let's walk through grass plains." she invited.

"Why did you name me such, Mother?"

"You're named after a brave man. A man who I should have married, but foolishly chose not to." she answered bitterly.

She failed.

She had rejected the man she really loved.

But at least she was alive.

She was the child of Hurin, after all.

She let out a bitter laugh.

 

 

 

 



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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2960
Date: Apr 22, 2011

Jewel-Woman,
I like it.
I hope you write more.
The title, "Child", raises some emotional under-currents that inhance the narrative.
"She let out a bitter laugh" catches the tragedy of Hurin's story very succinctly.
Thank you for taking the risk and posting it.

With respect,
Bear



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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit
Called or uncalled, God is present

Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Apr 23, 2011
Well, I saw no risk.

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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2960
Date: Apr 23, 2011

Jewel-Woman,
Great that you saw no risk!
Not to be rude ... but more please ...
Bear



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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit
Called or uncalled, God is present

Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Apr 23, 2011
More chapters?

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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2960
Date: Apr 23, 2011

more of your poetic interpretations?



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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit
Called or uncalled, God is present

Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Apr 23, 2011
I don't understand...are you calling my fanfic awful? That's how I see your last two replies, at least. I apologize if it is not so.

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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2960
Date: Apr 24, 2011

Jewel-Woman,
Not awful ... the opposite ... I am calling them wonderful.
You capsulated the story in your own words. You put them in the form of free verse, without a rhyme scheme, yet still left the "flavor" of this tragic tale.
Not many folks would even try and do that ... but you did it ... and in my humble opinion did it well.
So if you felt like poetically using capsulation on another tale it would be very welcome.
I was complimenting your work ...not criticizing ...

I just re-read this whole exchange ... and I am truly confused on how you read this as insulting your work ...
If we still have a conflict I would be happy discuss it and if necessary make amends ... but not in the thread ...but by PM.

Again Jewel-Woman ... I liked it ... I really liked it!!!

 

 



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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit
Called or uncalled, God is present

Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Apr 24, 2011

more of your poetic interpretations?

^ This.



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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2960
Date: Apr 24, 2011

"more of your poetic interpretations?" ... was an answer to your question of "more chapters?"
And was an indicative index to the specific pattern with which you started the thread of"Child."

Indeed it was meant as a compliment.
"Poetic interpretations" is a literary label of an art form unique and rare.(free verse and unstructured rhyme scheme)  Your response surprises me; as the lable of "poetic interpretation" is one of the highest compliments one can receive surrounding this art form.

I apologize for any misunderstanding ... But I am sorry ... I really don't see where it comes from.
If you prefer I will stop giving feedback ... My mistake ... as all this was meant to acknowledge your talent and encourage your artist courage in  choosing the poetic form ... I am not sure  if  I should be angry or embarrassed.

Either way ... please keep posting ...

Confused,
Bear an Elf-Friend



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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit
Called or uncalled, God is present

Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Apr 24, 2011

I'm the one who should apologize...I thought that you meant to say something else with that...

Anyway, I will continue this on Monday. Tommorrow.

Besides, this isn't a poem at all. It's prose.

 



-- Edited by Jewel-Woman on Wednesday 27th of April 2011 04:14:58 PM

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Samwise Gamgee - rank 9
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Posts: 2372
Date: Apr 30, 2011
Keep it coming.

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My Master Sauron the Great bids thee Welcome....
Soldier of Beleriand - Rank 3
Status: Offline
Posts: 121
Date: May 10, 2011
Sorry for jumping in, but Bear, you should not be either angry or confused. As I see it (as a non-native speaker of English, seeing how some things get 'lost in translation'), the misunderstanding on Jewel-Woman's part might have arisen from a feeling that you were mockingly calling her work 'poetic', when in fact you were not really considering it so. Of course your misunderstanding came from the fact that you were indeed, truthfully calling the work 'poetic interpretation' with no mockery intended, and so could not understand her answer.

Other than that, I find the poem itself to be quite interesting. I'd like to read more myself.

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Being lies with Eru - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 39
Date: Feb 2, 2012
Only that it is no poem. It's a short story.

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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2960
Date: Feb 2, 2012

Jewel-Woman,

Welcome back ... Nice to see you back.

I agree.  It really is a short story ... I use using the term is its more generic form ... meaning that it was "poetic" form ... in a song, in a poem, a saga, etc.

I read what you wrote aloud to a few friends ... as the highest compliment they thought it "poetic" and "epic" also. (and they asked me for more)

I think I should apologize ... you wrote ... you should label as you want.

Never mind this old hippie who sees "poetry" everywhere.

Again,

Nice to see you,

Bear an Elf-Friend



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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit
Called or uncalled, God is present

 
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