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Topic: Isilăn's March

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Servants of Mordor - Rank 1
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Posts: 22
Date: Oct 30, 2009
Isilăn's March

This is not exactly Fan-Fic, though it has a heavy Middle-Earth base. I entered it into a competition to get into a game beta. I came second... out of two people. I still got into the beta though. This is the first chapter in a series. I am hoping to increase my writing abilities. Enjoy.

As Isilăn and his men marched through the boggy marshes of Flattan rol, they began to wonder if they would ever catch up to the Orc patrol before they reached Makkada. For many weeks now had they been trailing the filth though these lands, trying to catch them in their sleep. Orcs are extremely careless and often forget to keep watch each night. Although it is not uncommon for the hideous creatures to wander into Elven territory, it is peculiar for them to wander so close to a village that had just sent its men off to reinforce the Men of the Rolling Plain.This is why Isilăn was awoken late at night to start tracking the Orcs.

 

Orcs are filthy creatures. They will eat anything that strays on to their path. Not two days ago had one of Isilăns lieutenants, Banter, spotted a half devoured troll carcass lying in their way. This reminded Isilăn that the Orc patrol had at least three times more men than he, and even Elves do not have the strength to overcome those odds.

 

Dusk was approaching and the Elves were still many miles behind the Orcs. But Isilăn had not allowed his men to rest for two days and he felt they deserved it. He was even willing to light a fire for their large assortment of teas. The Elves sat around the crackling fire while they talked.

 

"I am sick of being pulled out of bed every few weeks just to make a wild goose chase to catch a bunch of Orcs," Exclaimed Elneki, "If they are going to send us out like this, give us a few more men."

 

"You know they cant do that!"Replied Keali, "The king is sending all of our available soldiers to the Rolling Plains to assist the Men of the West."

 

"Why are we helping those weak, short lived Orc droppings anyway?"

 

"We owe them greatly. They have given us much wealth over the years, not to mention clearing up that argument with the Dwarves up north."

 

"Not to mention that they saved me and my father not too long ago." This time it was Isilăn who spoke.

 

He was sitting in just the right position for his scars from the battles 137 years ago to stand out. An Orc blade had struck him just down his left cheek, only barely missing his eye. Unfortunately it was too close. The blade was heated in fire and had blinded him in that eye, giving him a wise, strong look. His posture also assisted in that.

 

His father just so happened to be the King of the Elves and that made him feel greatly obliged towards Men.

 

"All right, I think we had all get some rest. We have a long day of running to make up for the time we spent resting!" Isilăn called, this was followed by many moans from his squad. "Banter, you will take first watch. You will then wake me; I am taking the second watch. Keali, you are taking third watch. Good night."

 

Isilăn woke the soldiers at the first break of dawn, leading to some confusion with the Elves.

 

"You said we can rest for a few hours after daybreak! Why are we woken so early?" It was Elneki.

 

"Keep your voices down. That troll carcass we saw earlier... It had comrades." Isilăn whispered. Surely enough, no more than three-hundred meters away, a troll was swinging its club(or what you could call a club, for it was merely a tree trunk) high above its head. It seemed to be taunting at something.

 

Not much time had passed when a small man, no larger than a child in height, but wider than an average man, appeared in the clearing swinging his hammer at the troll. It did not take long for the group to figure out that the man was in fact a Dwarf.

 

Dwarves are violent fighters, they know what to do in a situation like this. But they were trained in groups of 3 or more, never alone did they have to face such fearsome opponents. The battle lasted very few minutes, as the Elves assisted the Dwarf. Elves, have a very good shot with a bow, and when you have 7 arrows blasting through the back of you skull, you tend to feel a bit of pain. Even if you are a troll. The monstrous beast fell flat on its large belly with a satisfying smack.

 

"Many thanks to you Elves, although I could have taken 'im. He wasnt that big." Claimed the Dwarf.

 

"You take down a troll? This one is at least 10 feet tall! That has to be 5 times you height." Elneki laughed.

 

"Aye, but its height is irrelevant, me mighty hammer could have knocked his head off!" The dwarf replied angrily.

 

"Only if you could reach my Dwarven friend," Isilăn mocked, "What be your name Dwarf?"

 

"Me' name? I am Tharen, the great prince of the Dwarves. I was leading a raiding party on these Orcs when we were ambushed. I was lucky to escape with me' life, I can tell ya' that boy." He was not lying, the dwarf was wearing one of the 3 great rings of the Dwarvern empire. One belonged to his father, the other to the great King Golgak of Dunn Ergast.

 

"The Orcs were camping right here two days ago. Most of them went forward to Makkada, but some took another road and seemed to be heading South-west." The Dwarf added.

 

"But the only road that heads south-west is the one we just took." Elneki said to the Dwarf.

 

"Aye, but Orcs can make their own roads, they use their swords and cut paths into the weeds on the side of the forest."

 

"Well, we have to start moving if we want to catch the Orcs in time." Isilăn explained to the Dwarf. "Will you join us, or are you going to head back north? If so we can spare some food and water."

"What? And leave all the fun to you Elves? Never! I am coming with you." Tharen said.

 

"Excellent, I have to warn you though there is going to be a lot of running."

 

"Just because we are short, it does not mean we cannot run! No, we Dwarves can run for days without resting."

 

"Then if we may, I think it is time to start after the Orcs."

 

 

 

"Don't ever let me run like that again you bigheaded Elf! I am going to have pains in me legs for weeks!" Cried Tharen.

 

"Oh do not complain Dwarf, we are just behind the Orcs, and now that we have an extra fighter we can defeat them." Elneki said.

 

The Dwarf felt the pain in his legs fade ad he heard the word Orcs. " Aye, and I could have taken 'em me'self if I wanted."

 

"We know Tharen, you have said so at least twenty times since we met you." Isilăn said slightly annoyed.

 

"We attack in the night, when they are less ready for attack." Isilăn added.

 

The Elves and the Dwarf sat around for many hours while the Orcs fell into their deep sleeps.

 

"The time to attack is now. Tharen, the plan is that my men and I shall take as many of them out as we can before they wake. Then you get your chance to prove you claims. We will rush in and kill them in hand to hand combat."

 

Isilăn and his men circled the orc camp and waited. Isilăn shot the first arrow, it hit two Orcs, waking the second one.

 

"They fell for it!"  Snorted the Orc.

 

The Orcs all woke, ready for battle. It was a trap. The creatures all ran at the Elves, while the Dwarf charge at them, swinging his hammer wildly above his head. Two Orcs grabbed him from behind and tied him to a tree. The same happened with the Elves that had not been slain.

 

"Where did these extra Orcs come from?" Called Isilăn.

 

"We sent some men back around to trap you, clever, eh?" Grunted the leader of the Orcs. "Quickly, we must take them back for questioning!" They untied the Elves and Dwarf and they started toward the Orc city.

 

"This will not turn out well." Thought Isilăn.



-- Edited by The New King of Angmar on Friday 30th of October 2009 08:28:37 AM

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Thorin Oakenshield - Rank 6
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Posts: 1109
Date: Oct 31, 2009
A great piece of work, NKOA!

Well done

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You want it for Yourself!
Servants of Mordor - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date: Oct 31, 2009
Any tips for improvement Bilbo? I am trying to get better after all.

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Lord Elrond of Rivendell - Rank 9
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Posts: 2960
Date: Oct 31, 2009
New King,
Hey!  This is pretty good.
I would like to see some more!
Bear


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Called or uncalled, God is present

Samwise Gamgee - rank 9
Status: Offline
Posts: 2372
Date: Nov 12, 2009
Good job, New King of Angmar. I have some suggestions.

Firstly, despite it being used by Tolkien in The Hobbits, its best to use the correct racial term for things like:

"I am sick of being pulled out of bed every few weeks just to make a wild goose chase to catch a bunch of Orcs," Exclaimed Elneki, "If they are going to send us out like this, give us a few more men."

Which should be:

"I am sick of being pulled out of bed every few weeks just to make a wild goose chase to catch a bunch of Orcs," Exclaimed Elneki, "If they are going to send us out like this, give us a few more Elves."

And in cases like:

"This reminded Isilăn that the Orc patrol had at least three times more men than he, and even Elves do not have the strength to overcome those odds."

The best is to use:

"This reminded Isilăn that the Orc patrol had at least three times more soldiers than he, and even Elves do not have the strength to overcome those odds.


A few other points...

Orcs won't travel in sunlight. They also don't generally eat things like trolls. In LOTR the Orcs found the idea of eating other Orcs quite repulsive. They joked to the Uruk-hai of Isengard, saying Saruman feeds them Orc-flesh.

Elves don't sleep in the same manner as men as Legolas demonstrated when hunting the Uruk-hai with Aragorn and Gimli.

Most trolls will turn to stone in sunlight. Though some of the more 'elite' breeds will not, like the Hill-trolls/Olog-hai.

Just thought those things might be of interest.smile.gif

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My Master Sauron the Great bids thee Welcome....
Servants of Mordor - Rank 1
Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date: Nov 13, 2009
mouth of sauron wrote:

Good job, New King of Angmar. I have some suggestions.

Firstly, despite it being used by Tolkien in The Hobbits, its best to use the correct racial term for things like:

"I am sick of being pulled out of bed every few weeks just to make a wild goose chase to catch a bunch of Orcs," Exclaimed Elneki, "If they are going to send us out like this, give us a few more men."

Which should be:

"I am sick of being pulled out of bed every few weeks just to make a wild goose chase to catch a bunch of Orcs," Exclaimed Elneki, "If they are going to send us out like this, give us a few more Elves."

And in cases like:

"This reminded Isilăn that the Orc patrol had at least three times more men than he, and even Elves do not have the strength to overcome those odds."

The best is to use:

"This reminded Isilăn that the Orc patrol had at least three times more soldiers than he, and even Elves do not have the strength to overcome those odds.


A few other points...

Orcs won't travel in sunlight. They also don't generally eat things like trolls. In LOTR the Orcs found the idea of eating other Orcs quite repulsive. They joked to the Uruk-hai of Isengard, saying Saruman feeds them Orc-flesh.

Elves don't sleep in the same manner as men as Legolas demonstrated when hunting the Uruk-hai with Aragorn and Gimli.

Most trolls will turn to stone in sunlight. Though some of the more 'elite' breeds will not, like the Hill-trolls/Olog-hai.

Just thought those things might be of interest.smile.gif




I know most of these facts, this is actually based on a game that has a heavy LOTR base.:) I mentioned that I think. I entered this into a competition and came second, though you are right about some of the mistakes. I should correct them when I can.

 

Thanks for the comment!



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Tom Bombadil
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Posts: 1886
Date: Nov 16, 2009
Suilad NKOA, I am also an aspiring writer and I have found out that it is good practice to pay attention to Style and Grammar. It makes it easier for your editors.

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Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, Jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

 
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